We Will All Go Together When We Go

by Tom Lehrer
Slow and sad

When you attend a funeral,
It is sad to think that suneral...
Later those you love will do the same for you.
And you may have thought it tragic,
Not to mention other agic...
Tives, to think of all the weeping they will do.
But don’t you worry!

Faster, with gusto

No more ashes! No more sackcloth!
And an arm band made of black cloth
Will some day nevermore adorn a sleeve!
For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There’ll be nobody left behind to grieve!

Rapidly, with happy excitement

And we will all go together when we go!
What a comforting fact that is to know!
Universal bereavement:
An inspiring achievement!
Yes, we will all go together when we go!

We will all go together when we go!
All suffused with an incandescent glow!
No one will have the endurance
To collect on his insurance;
Lloyd’s of London will be loaded when they go!

Oh we will all fry together when we fry!
We’ll be french fried potatoes by and by!
There will be no more misery
When the world is our rotisserie!
Yes, we will all fry together when we fry!

And we will all bake together when we bake!
There’ll be nobody present at the wake!
With complete participation
In that grand incineration:
Nearly three billion hunks of well-done steak!

Oh we will all char together when we char!
And let there be no moaning of the bar!
Just sing out a Te Deum
When you see that I.C.B.M.
And the party will be come-as-you-are!

Oh, we will all burn together when we burn!
There’ll be no need to stand and wait your turn!
When it’s time for the fallout
And Saint Peter calls us all out,
We’ll just drop our agendas and adjourn!

You will all go directly to your respective Valhallas;
Go directly, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollahs!
And we will all go together when we go!
Every Hottentot and every Eskimo!
When the air becomes uranious,
We will all go simultaneous!
Yes, we all will go together
When we all go together,
Yes we all will go together when we go!